I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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