so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
