Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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