Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
