i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We were destined to go to rehab together
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
