maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
