Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
