I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
if only i could text you this smell
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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