I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
