Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
