Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
