Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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