i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
