we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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