Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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