I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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