I think I died a long time ago.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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