How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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