so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
