Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
