Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
