that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
