remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
