I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Randomize
