That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
