dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He felt like a one man threesome
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
