he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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