I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize