we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She swung at the pinata with crutches
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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