i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
