Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
