girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
