FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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