yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
