if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
