watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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