Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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