STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
