well I can't set my house on fire every night
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
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You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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