that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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