Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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