I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you would pick up someone in the library
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
