zippers are such a cool invention
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
