You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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