I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
