when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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