i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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