I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
