i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
