I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
