Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
