you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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