So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
