I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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