So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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