beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
