i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
