He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
