At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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