I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
