i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
