I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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