Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
