The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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