My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She told me I should be a condom model.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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